when reality keeps shifting
Gaslighting
A pattern of denying your reality so consistently that you start to distrust your own memory, instincts, and emotions.
What it looks like
- ·"That never happened." / "You're remembering it wrong."
- ·"You're being too sensitive." / "You're overreacting."
- ·Saying something on Monday and denying it on Wednesday — repeatedly.
- ·Telling other people you're "unstable" so your reports aren't believed.
Why it's so disorienting
Gaslighting works because we are wired to trust people we love. When the person closest to you keeps rewriting what happened, your brain starts running the math: "Maybe I'm the problem." That self-doubt is the goal, not a side effect.
What helps
- ·Write things down — in your own handwriting or a private note app.
- ·Compare your written record with what you're being told later.
- ·Talk to someone outside the relationship — a friend, therapist, or hotline.
- ·Notice physical signals: confusion, brain fog, second-guessing yourself constantly.
when you're ready
Sister Signal has more on this.
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https://sistersignal.org/resources/gaslighting