why leaving feels impossible
Trauma bonding
A strong emotional attachment to a person who is harming you, formed through cycles of cruelty and reconciliation.
Why it forms
Trauma bonds are not weakness. They are a nervous system response to intermittent reinforcement — the same mechanism that makes slot machines compelling. The body learns to crave the relief that follows the harm, and the relief is interpreted as love.
What helps
- ·Time and distance. The bond loosens with consistent absence of the cycle.
- ·Naming it out loud, ideally to a therapist who specialises in domestic abuse.
- ·Building a quiet support network before you need it.
- ·Reading the cycle of abuse and recognising where you are in it.
when you're ready
Sister Signal has more on this.
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https://sistersignal.org/resources/trauma-bonding